My friend Liz Harroun just wrote an article for Tribeza Magazine where I answered one of the questions from their community: How can single adults find lasting love when dating apps are failing them?
My answer: While more people look online for love, many find it difficult to make their relationship stick for more than a few months. Are there so many options that the glimmer of a new connection fades as the mirage of greener grass appears? How does one stand out to potential partners and make love last?
Date with intention. Know what you desire regarding values, ideal lifestyle and goals. The clearer you are on these elements — and the more you embody them yourself — the sooner you’ll know when it’s time to say next. Courting is a process. It’s important to lead with care and vulnerability, but people must earn your trust over time. Coming out of the gate oversharing or undersharing may lead to another fizzled connection. Show your date genuine curiosity, with thoughtful questions and responses. Humans bond more through emotion than logic, so share feelings and have fun. If you’re not enjoying yourself, how will they enjoy you?
Next, cultivate relational skills, like being present and listening deeply. No one appreciates talking to someone itching for their turn. The honeymoon phase ends because we have to confront our differences. When you can embrace this complexity instead of seeing it as a problem, you’ll be on your way to negotiating relationship agreements that respect autonomy and a shared vision. Accepting someone’s uniqueness also includes helping them feel secure with you and learning how to comfort them in ways that are different from your own. Having the humility to apologize and repair connection — along with playfulness and humor — go a long way in fostering a satisfying love life.
Peter Craig is an individual and couples therapist who helps clients experience greater fulfillment in life and relationships. From dating coaching to ketamine-assisted therapy, he integrates several therapeutic modalities to support client breakthroughs in body, mind, and spirit.
Please click on the link below to read the other 2 answers from therapists, one of them by my friend and colleague Gretchen Goswitz.
https://tribeza.com/culture/local-therapists-answer-questions-about-love/